Omicron Oh my cron Oh me oh my micron....
Our youngest son lives in NYC which is having a huge Omicron wave. Our son is part of it. The school where he teaches part time went virtual on Friday. One week to late for our son. His birthday began with him Facetiming us and showing us a rapid antigen test and asking “Does this look positive to you?” And that line was as bright as any rapid test line I have seen. He turned 28 and staying at home in his apartment in NYC alone is NOT how he wanted to spend his birthday or his vacation. Fortunately he is vaccinated and boosted and did not seem to get too sick. Hopefully he will teach himself how to laminate dough and make his own croissants. My self portrait last week. My self portrait this week. It says it all!!!
Here we go again
I am beginning to think the Human Race is hopeless. The media reports about Omicron are almost laughable. It is as though nobody learned the first time around what exponential growth means and how viruses spread. At least Omicron might be a milder disease and the training from 3 doses of vaccine seems protective against serious illness. But nobody seems to have learned that covid vaccines do not stop the spread of the illness, they simply protect us and others against getting seriously ill and dying. Meanwhile we are getting colds more easily this year due to our immune systems lying dormant last year. I am sure having a preschooler is contributing. UGH. Unlike last year Thanksgiving was the whole CREW: Our four parents, Roy’s sister, our daughter and Husband and their 2 girls, our son and his wife and their little girl and their dog, our youngest son and his girlfriend and us. 13 in all. We gathered at our daughter’s house and sat around their gorgeous new dining room table under their very stylish new chandelier. It all felt so civilized. I cooked up the Drumlin vegetables and transported my creations to Bedford. The babies, both crawling, dominated of course. But Roen held her own in the conversation and at one point chimed in with a comment when our kids were discussing somebody they knew from LHS who works at a coffee shop near our youngest. They were talking about how she will not be there for long because she is not particularly good at holding down a job. And Roen without missing a beat said, “And she died in the end” Gotta love verbal 3 year olds. And lately Roen is constantly trying out new words and ideas in fascinating ways. She is suddenly interested in dinosaurs and after describing what Paleontologists do I asked her if she would like to be a Paleontologist and she responded by saying, “No I just want to be a grown up”
One week later we had our middle son and his crew back at our apartment overnight along with his wife’s sister who had just flown in. Our son has completed his first semester as a college professor. It was wonderful having them here again. I just wish I had cleaning help for after they were gone. I now understand how my MIL and mother used to feel as we were leaving after staying with them. Yes they enjoyed our visit but they also always seemed a bit relieved as we were packing to go.
Cop26 & Fast Fashion
It is hard to feel optimistic after Cop26. Why is everyone still thinking about their own self-interest when the ship is sinking? I have nothing to add to this as everything I want to say has been said by activists, like Greta, and by scientists and artists (mainly Kim Stanley Robinson in his amazing book “Ministry for the Future”). And so I continue to put pencil and brush and ink to paper and work. As the summer wraps up and I get back in the rhythm of working I found myself wanting to return to using the half-penny dolls in my art. There is something about the tangle of these small fabric and thread doll house dolls that captures the current state of humanity. It helps that mixed in with dolls of mothers, fathers, grandparents and children are ambulance drivers and firemen.
As mentioned in my previous post I have hoped to reference Dante’s vision of an eagle made up of souls by combining the dolls and the angels. It has lead to experimentation with paint and drawing as I play around with the dolls on my table. Interspersed with periods where they are collected and the table is cleared and Roen is here playing with them. At 3 she loves them so much that her mother and I went on a quest to buy more. But alas they are no longer being made.
This week I added my origami into the mix. And as I was painting my husband sent me an image of a desert in Chile that is covered with discarded clothing from our fast fashion culture. The photograph resonated with my doll paintings which in a way capture how capitalism is basically just eating people up and discarding them.
The Desert in Chile covered with discarded clothing from around the world.
October 2021
I have been making art, just not as much as I hoped. It is true that now that we are not necessarily just staying at home, it is easier to avoid work. But also I decided to work on a big project and most of my work is explorations around the ideas for this project and not finished pieces.
With the Harvard Art Museum open again I decided to revisit Bernini’s angels to see where it takes me. I am trying to go in at least once or twice a week and draw for 1.5 -2 hours. I keep thinking about how I love the dark work that references Dante and I keep thinking how fun it would be to capture the angel made up of souls by combining my drawings of angels with my drawing/paintings of the dolls. I am not sure where it is going to take me
Because of covid, the grand babies, our parents and Delta I decided not to continue with Joel’s group because he is now teaching in person in his studio in the South End. I miss everyone, but at the same time an old teacher Elaine Spatz Rabinowitz invited me to join her online class. Elaine and Joel are the same generation of artists and both taught at the college level. They are both eloquent and successful artists as well. But they are different and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is that distinguishes them in their critiques. Elaine is an oil/acrylic painter although she knows I am only using watercolor and gouache right now. We talked about getting lights into my painting after I showed a particularly bad overworked painting to class. I mentioned masking fluid and she brushed it off as being a material for an artist who does not work as loosely as me. I knew right then I had to prove her wrong and discovered that I could make almost print like paintings by using the masking fluid, painting a layer, removing it and doing another layer of masking fluid and paint. Below is the result.
August 2021
The summer is always a slow for me as an artist. As one fellow farm worker said to me, our attention turns to the earth and growing things. I am doing less farm work than in the past due a shift in Lindentree’s operations and my decision to spend my workshare energy over at neighboring Drumlin farm. Tuesday I spent time at Drumlin planting beets with volunteers, crew and workshare members. Matt Celona is a very impressive farmer. I was amazed at how rich and fluffy the soil felt as we put the tiny fragile baby beet sprouts into the ground. When I got home the dirt easily washed off me. It is an interesting contrast to Lindentree where despite the focus on farming organically the soil has been allowed to compact and become hard. Meanwhile the planet is burning. Torrential rains are falling. It is crazy how much worse this is than what Al Gore showed in his movie “The Inconvenient Truth” and how foolish we were to ignore what scientists were telling us back then. And still nobody seems interested in doing the work to stop the train from careening over the cliff. It is capitalism. We are all addicted to shopping and buying and shopping and our cars and planes. Nobody wants to stop. Nobody is willing to stop.
All the grand babies are now no longer within walking distance. We are cycling regularly out to Bedford to see Roen and Maeve (and of course Shira and Nick as well) . I miss having them all nearby. Last week we had Isaac and his girlfriend here and that was so nice. I don’t miss the cooking or cleaning associated with feeding everyone but I definitely miss their constant presence.
Trying to force myself to work without falling into the habit of just drawing flowers. I have so many flowers this summer. I take a painting I am not happy with that features dried and dying flowers and I wipe an area away and put an image of myself in a “Lush Prison” (title courtesy of Sally). The painting feels right for the moment.
Summer 2021
CoVid rates are as low as they have been since the start of the pandemic. Hurray for Vaccination.
My babies are moving. I know I shouldn’t complain they are all still relatively close. Our daughter and husband bought a house in Bedford MA. Our middle son and his family are moving to Hanover New Hampshire where he will be an assistant professor at Dartmouth . Our youngest son is moving off the island of Manhattan (Harlem to be exact) to Brooklyn (Williamsburg). I am happy for all of them and what these moves mean for them, but I will miss our Pandemic gatherings at Leslie College with our oldest 2 and their families. Things change. Roen has morphed from a toddler into a full blown Three-anger. She is so funny. One of her favorite things is to do s’periments with food coloring and water. She can mix colors for hours. She is now part of a cohort of kids who regularly go to Larch Road park. They know each other’s names. Like a collection of little rascals they range in age from 2 to 5. The kids think my name is “Grandma” cause that is what Roen calls me.
So like an expanding spiral the kids are still close but moving farther away. We will still be connected.
Inequality, unfairness, cruelty, selfishness and human nature
We participated in an interesting theater experiment put on my a small theater in London we love, Almeida. i confess I missed the Almeida bar, which has good food, as well as the Ottolenghi cookies we would buy across the street. I miss the energy of Islington. But this particular Zoom theater experience was different than others because it involved you (the audience) interacting one on one with an actor or actress. I don’t want to give too much away in case they do the performance again and you can be a part of it.
Being a teacher at Grandparent Pandemic School has become a bit of a chore lately. Oh how I love that little girl and I do enjoy having her visit. But she is also exhausting now that she is older. She is so ready to participate in preschool and spend some of her days around other kids. If it were not for CoVid and I was babysitting her regularly we would be going to the library and music class and doing things where she was able to be around other children on a regular basis.
Quarantine Art
Vaccinated, Celebrations, Family and more (From last year)
vIt was a momentous week!!! Our entire extended family is all vaccinated except for the babies and Roen. My in laws and our youngest son came up from CT/NYC. Roen got to meet her Uncle Isaac in person. For half her life he has been the uncle who lives in my computer. The two hit it off in person and immediately became best friends.
I spent the weekend hosting and for the first time our dining room table was clear of the piles of art work created by me and Roen. It was free of brushes, paint and yogurt containers filled with water. All the chairs were being used as chairs and not flat surfaces for storing things. Saturday night as our large group sat around the table and babies cried while we laughed, we could hear laughter and chatter coming from neighbor’s houses all around us. People whose vaccines had finally kicked in, combined with the CDCs new mask recommendations and the beautiful spring evening meant that people all over were gathering with friends and family. That sound was so joyous.
More quarantine art.
Will Humanity Prevail?
I spend a lot of time thinking about this lately. It is hard not to with what is happening in India with CoVid. Over a year since CoVid was declared a global pandemic and science has accomplished so much. We understand how it is transmitted from person to another. We have better treatments for those who are ill. We even have what so far looks like effective vaccines. AND YET…..India, Brazil, Michigan are allowed to happen and people are dying. What is wrong with us that we can not stop ourselves from traveling, from shopping, from spreading a lethal virus?
Hurray Saturday I get my second vaccine.
I think of the babies. So many babies lately are being diagnosed with being tongue tied. Is it being overdiagnosed? Is it due to something in the environment?
Life Death and everything in between
A fellow artist friend also had two grand babies born this month. In one case mom had a difficult birth resulting in her being in the ICU. My friend’s daughter is home now recovering. Meanwhile this friend learns her eldest daughter is seriously ill. Another friend and fellow breastfeeding home birth advocate I know lost her mom. Covid protocols probably were responsible for some of her mom’s deterioration in the past 6 months. A mom in the support group I moderate who I have known for years lives in Boulder CO. The Shooting being a little too close to home. The supermarket is one she used to go to all the time when her girls were in Elementary school. I hate guns!!! I hate the constant pain and death that gun violence is inflicting on our country. Bodies. I think of bodies as I draw. Fallen bodies from gun violence. Bodies of the elderly. Bodies of those who are ill.
And then I think of Maeve. Mystery Maeve. Why has she never been able to suck properly. Is it something minor? Is it more significant? Why does her voice sound raspy and hoarse to me? I say I won’t google but then every day I find myself reading web pages looking for answers. There are none. She needs professionals to tease this out. I hate seeing our daughter in pain and so sad. Meanwhile her other daughter is just BURSTING with life; A bird, a flower, the joy of throwing a ball, the amazement of finding yet a new and different rock, using her body in new ways, expressing herself, asking questions. Everything is new and exciting and has potential to bring laughter, tears and amazement.
And baby number 2
Two weeks after baby Nikko our daughter had her second child, Maeve. It was a home birth with some drama when the placenta took a long time to come out. That day, Monday March 1rst, Roen came over as usual but her dad left “the bag they had packed” for when mom was in labor. She stayed all day, had bath and dinner and went to sleep. For the most part she slept well, but I did not. I had my phone in my hand until I got the text sharing SUCCESS, which only came at 11:30 at night. My sweet daughter did tell me to go to sleep and promised all the details in the morning, but I had too much adrenaline to really sleep well. Baby Maeve was a big 8lb 15oz baby, which by my family’s standards is a giant. I have smallish babies. And definitely the opposite of her cousin Nikko born 2 weeks before. But what a cutie!
Meanwhile I am being postpartum doula to our son and his wife, going over while our son leaves to teach his course. In addition to all the usual challenges of adjusting to new parenthood their baby also has a posterior tongue tie which has made nursing challenging for baby and mom. It means more frequent feeds and painful positions for mom, which is exhausting.
Every day it seems I am holding a baby. They are both wonderful and I can’t wait to see how their personalities develop. So far both Nikko and Maeve seem to have this slightly skeptical look on their faces as though they know they were born during a global pandemic that we have not gotten under control.
Art has been not happening, although I did do one drawing I like today. I guess I am just overwhelmed with the new babies and what lies ahead. Our son and his wife got a lease for a house owned by Dartmouth and it starts in May. That seems so soon. I am going to miss having them around the corner so much.
One thing I love is putting photos of the two babies side by side. After both my kids sent me pictures of them in bed with their babies I had to combine them. They are great pictures which is no surprise as they both have spouses who are talented visually. But I also love the “battle of the baby chins”. Who doesn’t love a baby with a double or triple chin?
Blankets
Before Nikko was born I was drawing scissors. I have always enjoyed drawing tools and my scissor collection became a great tool for expressing everything from angst to hope. As I said in previous posts I used them as figurative objects. In the week before Nikko was born I was terrified about the baby being a footling breech and what might happen in the final weeks. I knew that setting up a very straight forward narrative still life would not lend itself to an interesting drawing, but I had hopes that I could use it as a background for something more complex. I placed the scissors pointing out of a bag. They were feet sticking out of a container. One could not get more explicit about my footling anxiety than that. I had just started on the drawing and after Nikko was born I found I could not continue working on it. Instead I found myself focused on blankets. I had visited my mom who is still recovering and she was in bed among blankets. My son , his wife and their baby were surrounded by blankets as they nursed their small newborn. And so I set up the silk scarves and started drawing hoping to capture that feeling we have when we curl up with our blankets to heal and recover and rest.
A boy, whales and dreams that come true
There once was a boy who loved learning. He had many challenges growing up but worked hard and became a PhD and is now going to be a Professor. I am so excited for him and his new family to start their life in NH/VT.
Ethan loved whales, especially Orca whales. I have a vivid memory of sitting with him as a toddler on the rocks in a park on Orcas Island and seeing a pod of whales go by.
He learned all about them and a whale video set to music was what calmed him down.
One of his favorite books was a book made by a local Pacific Northwest Author called “Davy’s Dream” The last line is “And Davy learned dreams really can come true.” How appropriate.
New Life-meet Baby Nikko Born February 12
Words
Words can not begin to express the pride I feel in my son and his wife. They are starting off their new life as parents with so much love for each other and for this new creature.
I miss having coffee or tea with friends. Baby Nikko’s birth made me wish I could celebrate and share photos and stories with my dear friends who I miss so much. i keep thinking about how sad it is that one of my close artist friends who is also about to have two grandchildren born (her son and her daughter are both having babies that are due on the same day in March). And what fun it would be to gather with all these babies together. It would be a baby party!!! But alas that is not going to happen….
Medical Mess
My mother just had a medical nightmare experience, despite the fact that her and my father were paying 10K a year for a concierge doctor. A large part of why this experience became such a tangled mess was the failure by the doctor to take into account my mother’s age and to listen to them and not make assumptions about what was going on. It was a scary experience for all involved and thankfully my mother will make a full recovery. What surprises me is how many of my friends respond to this story by telling me they had similar experiences with their aging parents. It is another example of how our fee-for-service medical system is not even serving those who can pay well.
Approaching a year...
A year ago Roy and I were feeling pretty good right now. We had overcome a sudden move and dealt with a storage locker we had had since we had moved out of our large house in Lexington. Roy was now consulting for a company in Harvard Square. I was babysitting Roen and making art at Maud Morgan. Our days were filled with long walks and wintry treats at cafes like Flour and Burdick. We were planning our trip in 2 weeks to NYC to see Isaac and Roy’s parents. And we were adjusting to our new apartment. We had found a new home for Bone. Overall although we still had financial stresses hanging over us, I was still hurt and upset by being abandoned by somebody I thought was a friend. Despite all the worries I would be pushing our Granddaughter in the stroller or mixing ink in the print studio or making a dinner for our kids and think “Life is good”. At the same time we were VERY aware of this emerging Pandemic in Wuhan. Foolishly we assumed career government employees were doing what they have always done and like other similar diseases this would be contained and mostly effect the far East. Little did we know, nobody was watching the ship. And so while we were being misled into believing it was no more dangerous than a bad flu it was quietly spreading all over the globe. Roy and I played the board game Pandemic, joking that if we fail to contain the abstract pandemic there might be a real global pandemic. We were also planning our trip to NYC to see Isaac and Roy’s parents and discussed whether we should cancel. But we had not heard of any cases being in the US and traveling in February is always risky with seasonal colds and flus circulating. We would follow our usual diligent protocols.
A sigh and then the hard work ahead
What joy to see Kamala sworn in! I was a fan of hers early on in the primary and felt awfully alone as I knew almost no one who felt the same way about her. What joy to see a beautiful diverse group of people who all believe in what can be done and the future of our planet and our country. But I am with Bernie and I fear that talk of unity and working together will be the undoing of this administration and when the bad guys come back they will not come back with a bumbling fool but rather with a clever snake whose venom will get into the blood of Americans and result in an even worse nightmare than what we had these past four years.
So now the hard work begins.
