And once more...CLIMATE CLIMATE CLIMATE!!!!

Pakistan is experiencing horrible flooding. Newspapers are mentioning it but the magnitude of the tragedy is not really making the headlines of US papers. The floods are impacting over 33 million people and there is more rain to come. It is a tragedy of incomprehensible dimensions. Flood water and displaced people combined with heat, is likely to breed more disease and public health officials are concerned.

Scientists announced that the Greenland ice sheet melting means at least a 10 inch sea level rise will occur regardless of what we do to limit our carbon emissions going forward.

This weekend (Labor Day Weekend) the US will experience yet another extreme heat event on the west coast. There is concern this will result in wildfires.

It is a lot to take in all the news about climate change. I admit it is easier to turn the other way, especially because almost none of us live a carbon neutral life. There is guilt. I get an Amazon package with something I need and toss away the plastic bubble envelope and I feel guilt. There is also a feeling of powerlessness. There is fear.

But I am always surprised when I tell people I feel morally conflicted about flying right now and moving forward I am not sure I will ever fly again. I tend to get vacant stares and comments about how of course I will fly again and how we need to live our lives. But what if living our best lives means we are destroying the lives for the children. I look at my three amazing grand daughters. Roen with all her curiosity and desire to explore and learn about the world, Maeve with her energy and enthusiasm for life and Nikko with her intense observation, humor and meticulous logic. Don’t they deserve a world that is not burning? Will they have a safe place to live as adults? Will there still be honeybees and ants and “hipmunks” in backyards? Why should adults need to travel be a priority given that it plays a role in destroying our children’s futures. And yes if we all stopped flying it would not be enough. Much needs to be done to shift our planet from a consumption capitalist system to a world that lives more in harmony with nature. None of us alone has the power to make much of a dent in this problem.

The first step is acknowledging “WE HAVE A PROBLEM” and then we can collectively work the problem rather than just assuming there is nothing we can do.

Education

Those who know me know I spent time working as a special education advocate after working like crazy to help pull my three kids through school. Specifically our middle child whose needs were never met by a rigid high performance school district. Although now a father and a professor he spent more time out of school than in school from 8th grade until his high school graduation.

I recently read a NYTimes op-ed piece by Joseph Allen, who is an associate professor at Harvard’s Chan school of public health. It was all about how we needed to work hard to make the upcoming school year as close to what it was pre-pandemic. Well if you have read past entries in this blog you know that I do not agree with this position. School had problems before the pandemic. Plenty of problems. And initially I had hoped that the pandemic might help us re-think how we approach educating our children. I imagined children exploring outdoors and learning about nature. What better excuse to get children outdoors and into the natural world than the need to be in fresh air because of a pandemic. With the bonus that our children need to learn about nature if they are going to survive the growing climate emergency.

There is a tendency to blame the pandemic on the rising number of children with mental health issues. But mental health among children was suffering before the word “covid” was part of our vocabulary. Why? Well I could probably fill a book with my thoughts on this one. I will start with one thing I have observed as an ex La Leche League Leader, special education advocate and grandmother. We fail parents right from the beginning. Limited maternity and parental leave results in parents having to return to work before they have even adjusted to life as new parents. Limited sick time and family leave time mean parents are stressed as they try to balance the duty as a caregiver with the demands of their job. Parents do not have the resources to pay for extra therapy, tutoring or activities to support a vulnerable child. Schools do not have the resources to provide nearly enough special education, therapy, tutoring and activities to meet vulnerable children’s needs. Health care costs mean that many families are one health care crises away from financial disaster. Food deserts and disparities mean many families do not have access to the healthy food options. Safe access to nature is not always available.

If parents are stressed and anxious then children will be stressed and anxious. We treat children like they are these little “pets'“ that we can send to school and feed information in hopes they morph into healthy workers. It is insane given how much is known about child development that this overarching belief is still so prevalent even among associate professors of public health. One can not expect a child to be excited about learning and reading if their parents simply do not have the energy to read to them or spend time counting out cheerios, toes and kisses. And we can’t blame parents because surviving in this economy means always being on a tread mill with the fear you might fall off. Without any safety net most parents are living in constant fear for their future and the future of their children.

I know of many families whose children actually thrived during the school shut down. They were privilaged upper middle class families whose parents were highly educated. For them school shutting down gave them the gift of time to spend with each other and explore those things that interest them. These kids had healthy meals and parents who were emotionally available to them. They had houses filled with books, access to broadband and green spaces to play in. Their parents had the emotional energy to limit screen time, play board games, go on hikes, pause to look at a honeybee and more.

It is wrong to blame the shutting down of school for the problems our children are suffering and assume that returning children to closed poorly ventilated buildings that feel like prisons will somehow fix the problem. Instead we should have used the pandemic as an opportunity to reorganize and rethink how we want to prioritize our economy so that it works for families and not against them. And we could start by simply valuing caregivers in their roles and maybe making policies that give them the time and space and emotional bandwidth to be caregivers.

Aging, Anxiety and Anger

So I have had a lot of generalized anxiety lately. I have had enough therapy over the years to know what it is and I know the things I need to do to manage it. But anxiety is tricky and I know it was impacting more than just my mind. Plus I had a very busy week with helping our son move into his new house, working at Drumlin and babysitting the girls.

A week of physical and emotional stress resulted in me throwing out my back. I went to pick up a relatively light crate of carrots while doing distribution at Drumlin farm and I heard something go “POP”. That did not sound good and I was fearful remembering the time in my 40s when I herniated a disc and was crippled for a few months. But the back pain did not seem that bad and felt more like a pulled muscle. The sort of thing ice, rest and stretching would help. And it did. So Friday I went off to babysit the girls. I was careful to not pick up the baby who fortunately is very willing to walk while holding hands. But Saturday I was considerably worse and a doctors visit confirmed age related back issues. These spines of ours did not evolve to be beneficial to our survival after 50 years.

I must say I am angry to be in this state. I want to be with my grand girls and be active. I want to be working at Drumlin. I want to go to NYC for the opening of the Prince Street Gallery Show. And none of my anger was helped this morning when this is what I woke up on in the Guardian.

So here I sit getting anxious about the future. We get distracted by other issues and ignore the fact that nothing matters if we don’t have a planet that is habitable.

HEAT!!!!

Wild fires in Alaska and Europe. Record breaking temperatures in the UK. Large waves destroying a wedding in Hawaii. NYC subways flooding. “Humanity is facing a collective suicide over the climate crises” warns the UN chief.

So much magical thinking: Climate varies. It can’t be as bad as they say. Bill Gates will fix it. There is nothing we can do. Democratic processes will solve the problem. Capitalism and Wall Street will solve the problem. I am OK, I like the heat.

We are dancing on the deck of the Titanic. Some of us know it is sinking. Others are pretending the party is still happening. Covid showed that people don’t care about “others” and our addiction to capitalism has made us incapable of imagining a better world and addressing the problem we face. The dinosaurs didn’t know any better. We thought we were better, smarter, cleverer and that there was no limit to what humanity could achieve. But we are our own worst enemy.

Guston

We went to the MFA yesterday to see the Guston exhibit. The exhibit was well done and did a good job navigating the challenging imagery necessary to include in an exhibit about Guston’s work. There were videos from the 60s civil right’s movement in the exhibit and I found myself standing in front of them with tears in my eyes because I can not help think how bad things are today. Even with all the progress made toward civil rights and diversity and discussions around racism, the resistance has grown in strength and power and all the progress that has been made seems to be threatened. I know from Joel, who was a student of Guston’s when he taught at Brandeis, Guston was a deeply intellectual and thoughtful man. This particular quote really struck me as an artist whose work has always been about my processing what is occurring around me.

“So as I read this (referring to the 1966 book Treblinka), and my mind starts running away with everything I read or touch or see, I began to see all of life really as a vast concentration camp. And everybody is numbed…Then I thought, ‘Well that’s the only reason to be an artist: To escape, to bear witness to this.’”

No Words →

I don’t have a title for this blog. I don’t even want to be writing this entry. But the reality is my drawing “Alignment Problem” is hanging just a few blocks from where today’s fourth of July shooting occurred. And I hope member’s of the community will look at alignment problem and ponder what we can do to stop our world from becoming a dystopia for our children. When I made alignment problem I was angry. It was late winter/early spring 2021. With vaccines being distributed at a rapid pace all the talk was about “returning to normal”. But what is “normal” and why was everyone so eager to go back to it? Pre-pandemic our planet was already on the edge of a climate catastrophe with increasing inequality and many youth suffering from mental health issues. So I wondered why nobody saw an opportunity once the world stopped to make systematic changes, to imagine and reinvent a future that would not be the dystopic future we clearly seemed headed for. And here we are. Rather than Alignment Problem being a predictor of what was to come if we did not re-align our systems it has become a mirror.

Alignment Problem is going to hang at The Art Center in Highland Park for another few weeks. It is a mirror of where we are today. My heart breaks for our country and for the Highland Park community. I am tired of this. I am angry!!!

Women's Health and The Rogue Court.

I have written about my passion for women’s health and pregnancy in this blog before. For a decade I was an active La Leche League Leader. And during that time I had the privilege of knowing a wide variety of women from different backgrounds and beliefs. As a La Leche League Leader I witnessed the complexity behind women's health. I hugged a Catholic woman who with the permission of her priest aborted a non-viable siamese twin fetus at the start of her third trimester. The loss hurt her to the core and she felt like she had given birth to a monster. I comforted a father who told me how he and his wife had to go to an abortion clinic because the fetus his wife was carrying had died at the start of the second trimester. It was the wife’s first pregnancy and seeing protesters and then sitting with teens who were getting abortions just made her pain that much worse. She was mourning and I remember thinking it was insane she could not have the procedure done in the privacy of her OB/GYN office. I had a mom of twins confess to me about her selective abortion. Another mom had brought the subject up and expressed her pro-life beliefs not knowing that the woman sitting next to her had reduced her pregnancy from three implanted fetuses to two. Another woman told me she used a surrogate for her second pregnancy because she almost bled out and died after giving birth to her first. And then a grandmother I know had to rush to the hospital because her daughter was going into surgery so they could find the source of her bleeding after she gave birth to her second. I witnessed postpartum depression and felt powerless to help the mother and child who were suffering. I saw a small sickly baby who had been exposed to chemotherapy for cancer that was detected in the mom early on in pregnancy. Doctors had advised the couple to get an abortion. They chose not to. I will always wonder if that baby suffered or survived. I watched as a teen mom grew into a woman after giving birth to her son who was deaf. She went on to learn sign language, and become a mentor to other teen moms. And these are just a smattering of the stories I and other women have witnessed. Pregnancy is messy. And all the moms I mentioned here are white and middle-upper class. So they all have privilege. I can’t imagine what any of these scenarios would be like for a young woman living in a state where abortion is illegal. And I am lucky that rape and incest are not part of my collective stories.

Titles

I often turn to my husband for help with titles for my work. He knows me well enough and we spend enough time discussing world issues on our walks that he can often zero in on an ideal title that sums up what the piece is about. This week I had six pieces photographed so I could add them to my portfolio for residency submissions and to shows. One of those pieces was a collage I did last year that I always loved because it is part of my doll/body/discard series. Last night as we walked my husband once again hit on the perfect title, “Echopraxia”. The crazy thing is it is the title of the sequel to a science fiction book, “Blindsight” that my husband very much wants me to finish reading. It is a book that both my boys loved. I am having a bit of a hard time with this book. It is definitely not a “book group” type book. Back to the word Echopraxia. When I looked up the definition of Echopraxia I realized it captures exactly what I want to say with this piece. Happy Father’s Day to an amazing father and grandfather.

Paula Rego

b1935-d2022.

Everyone has an artist who they hold near and dear to their heart; an artist who inspires and has an influence on their work. For me Paula Rego is one of those artists. It is not just that she uses dolls in her figurative compositions. It is the way she is able to navigate fantasy and reality and abstraction to create paintings that are complex, emotional and speak to a wealth of ideas. I was so sad to hear that she passed away this morning. I think deep down I always imagined being able to meet her in person before she died. I was heartbroken to miss the retrospective of her work at the Tate last year. Here is a Paula Rego painting that I am particularly fond of. Can you see how it connects with my own work?

Paula Rego “Fireman of Alijo”

This new world

Anger, Frustration, Sadness, Exhaustion, Anxiety, Depression, Joy, Love, Heartache, Empathy and ANGER AGAIN

I think the caption captures how I feel right now after this week’s events. Anger leads all the other emotions. I remember being so sad after Sandy Hook every time I saw an image of a gap toothed first grader lost in that tragedy. But I also hoped the images of adorable first graders who were killed would result in some action being taken to prevent such horror in the future. Instead I remember arguing with someone I knew who was an aid in our local middle school about the futility of doing active shooter drills and how ridiculous that was. Nothing changed and by the time Parkland happened I was ready to give everything I had to those amazing teens who felt empowered to take action. They marched. They raised money. They collected signatures. They did what everyone says you should do if you want change in our current democratic system. Nothing changed. The dial has not moved at all. We are no closer to dealing with this problem than we were the day after Columbine, Sandyhook, Las Vegas, Parkland, Buffalo or any of the other tragic shootings.

The photos of children lost are always so joyful and full of love and caring. Their eyes sparkle with potential and dreams and imagination. Not only are their lives lost but the lives of so many who loved them are altered forever.

There is no collaborating or finding middle ground with a death cult. They say they want to fight for “Life” and that is what motivates them,, but they don't care about children or the future. For if they did they would say “Never Again” after something like this and put laws and policies to stop the endless shootings we have in the US. They would worry less about a woman who is aborting a non-viable fetus and more about caring for the children who are living.

In a previous blog post I wrote, “On top that I am desperate to find a venue to hang “Alignment Problem” because the message in that drawing is in my mind, the most important message right now. What happens when the systems we create to make life better end up pursuing their own objectives and do not achieve what we want or expect of them as they are unleashed in the real world? This painting is about the misalignment between our goal of nurturing children and the effects these systems have on the world they will grow into.” I submitted “Alignment Problem” to a show titled “Nature and Nurture” along with two other more joyful pieces about my children growing up and blooming into their own. The jurors decided this week and the piece they picked was alignment problem. At first I was shocked this piece was chosen but then I realized in the context of this week’s events this piece has a lot to say. I am glad this piece will finally get hung but I am heartbroken that it took an event of such magnitude to have people understand it.

Possibilities

I am finally listening to a podcast about David Graeber’s book “A Dawn of Everything” that my husband has been asking me to listen to. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-source-with-christopher-lydon/id73330619?i=1000543788846

And yes I will probably pick up the huge book “Dawn of Everything” and finally read it after listening to this podcast.

One of the things I often talk about with my husband is there seems to be a lack of imagination among our peers when talking about things like Climate , Education, Health Care, Food, Housing and all other manner of human life. I have a lot more to say on this and I don’t have time to write it all down right now but I am glad to listen to others talk about how our lack of imagination is holding us back from coming up with solutions.

Getting your art work out there

One of the hardest parts about being an artist is creating work that you are attached to and having it be rejected for a show. And I get that curating a show is never about individual work and is about putting together a cohesive show that sometimes has a theme. I recently submitted two pieces for a show whose theme was “Connectivity” and I felt after reading the prospectus that I had two ideal works for this show. But alas neither one was chosen. Both pieces are rather dark and were done right around the 2020 election when I was feeling concern about how our divided political landscape was going to play out in the coming years. I still believe these pieces speak to the struggle our country is in right now . And I also understand why if you were creating a show about connections you would want to focus on the positive rather than the negative. And yet I hope I can at some point present this work so people can look and think about the challenges we face in our hyper-connected and disconnected world we live in.

On top that I am desperate to find a venue to hang “Alignment Problem” because the message in that drawing is in my mind, the most important message right now. What happens when the systems we create to make life better end up pursuing their own objectives and do not achieve what we want or expect of them as they are unleashed in the real world? This painting is about the misalignment between our goal of nurturing children and the effects these systems have on the world they will grow into.

Democracy 1 2020

Turning Point 2021

The passage of time

The summers of 2000 and 2001 we traveled to London with our three kids. During those trips Roy and I fell in love with London. We stayed in this very small hotel in Picadilly that was family run and is sadly no more. Instead in it’s place is some shopping mall. But at the time it was a magical place as the hotel was simply a small number of suites with no lobby and just a small front desk at the bottom of the stairs. We put the kids in a pull out bed in the sitting room while Roy and I took the king size bed. During those trips we fell in love with the Globe Theater and Shakespeare, London summers and even London food which was morphing from it’s mushy peas of the 70s into trendy modern European. I have a distinct memory of going out with Shira while Roy was with the boys and heading over to the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy. I have to say I was not impressed but the artist in me was also thrilled to see so much art work.

We had some rough years after that but as things started to settle down and the kids got older and needed us less we took a trip to London by ourselves that piggy backed on a work trip Roy had with the BBC. We called it our honeymoon and it definitely felt like that. Except I also remember picking up the phone in front of Buckingham Palace and having our daughter cry to us because things were unraveling for her due to a mistake she had made. But that trip just made me fall in love with London even more.

When the UK hosted the Olympics we were not in a position to go, but we watched it at home. And l lusted after the images of the English Countryside while watching the cycling. That winter Roy learned that they were going to have a charity sportive ride on the Olympic route. It was going to be my 50th birthday and I don’t know what came over us but we both decided we wanted to do it. It was impulsive. We had no idea what it really meant to ride 100 miles (which we mistakenly thought was a 100km at first). We had no plans for renting bikes or training. The most either of us had cycled in a day was 18 miles round trip from Lexington to Harvard Square with a long break for tea in the square. But we signed up. Bought ourselves road bikes and started training that spring. And much to our surprise we both completed Prudential Ride London!!!

The following year we returned. I was dreading the hills especially Leigh Hill with it’s dark overhanging trees and steep climb and descent . But there ended up being a rare Hurricane to hit the UK that day. Hurricane Bertha brought chilly rain and strong winds to London. They did not cancel Ride London but they did eliminate the hills. Again we completed the ride and nurtured our aging aching bodies with good food and drink.

The next year we intended to do the ride again. But this time we had struggled to find appropriate bikes and had not spent time training. We had sold the house we raised our kids in and downsized and moved into an apartment in Cambridge. The whole process was somewhat traumatic and difficult for us. By the time we arrived in the UK we were already exhausted. We had treated ourselves to two nights in a small luxury hotel in Clerkenwell and that first morning we sat at Breakfast at a wonderful Cafe next-door called Modern Pantry. Next to us was a younger couple who overheard us say something…I can’t remember what but Joanna is very outgoing and social and the next thing we knew we were talking. Although they were younger than us we had a lot in common. And they were AVID CYCLISTS. After a long conversation they invited us to Surrey to their house to ride as part of training for Ride London. They told us they would set us up with bikes that we could use for the Ride as well. We took them up on the offer.

Now in addition to being 15 years younger than us they both were more experienced cyclists. And despite our giving them a heads up about how out of shape we were they took us on a long ride through the Surrey Hills, including the dreaded Leigh Hill. Along the way we stopped at a marvelous little shop for pastries and towards the end of the day ate what tasted like the best tuna sandwiches at the cafe on top of Box Hill. By the end of the day we were both beat. That evening we had a wonderful dinner with them and their two charming small girls at their house and took the train home. One of the funniest moments was Joanna had sent Killian ahead (because I was so slow) and told him after picking up the kids to put dinner in the oven. He put what was supposed to be the salad in the oven instead of the main dish. Somehow it all worked out and the meal was delicious. The next morning we realized we were just too sore to do Ride London the following Saturday and postponed our entry by claiming injury. We never managed to do Ride London again. Timing and age and injuries meant that each summer we missed our chance.

Despite our joking about the time Joanna and Killian tried to do us in, we remain friends and have also become friends with Joanna’s parents who visited us here in Boston.

Upon return I made Joanna and Killian a small artist book capturing the train ride out to Surrey.

We saw Joanna and Killian over the years and watched them age along with their children. Joanna recently visited us with her almost 10 year old daughter.

Today Joanna delivered my short-listed art work to the RA. I asked her to take pictures so I could live vicariously through my art as it traveled from Surrey to London

A sample of the book I made for them.

They framed it as Joanna liked the way it captured her commute to and from London

Joanna about to embark on her journey with my art in the art-pack box

The box I used to ship the art work got to have a London Flat-White. Jealous of my box…LOL

Art Tricks

Over the years I have had the pleasure of learning from some excellent artist/teachers. Joel Janowitz is one of those special teachers who with his humble personality is able to have a big impact on those who study with him.. I not only admire his work but as a teacher he has this amazing ability to push each student in ways that results in them making better art, while simultaneously respecting that student’s aesthetic, hand, and style. I spoke about this in the previous post. Last week I returned to his studio for a figure drawing session. It was wonderful to be back drawing a figure, but I also enjoyed having Joel remind me of the things that trip me up when making art and listening to him help other students.

One trick I learned from Joel is one I often share with fellow artists. A red sheet of acetate can show value better. A couple months ago I found a red sheet at Artisans and Craftsmen and bought it. When struggling with my paper drawings it has been very useful in helping me figure out where I want the eye to go and what I want to emphasize in the drawing. The red acetate allowed me to see the interesting shape the tulip leaves made. I am still tweaking the drawing but I definitely feel like it is coming along.

Creativity

Creativity comes so naturally to small children. I watch how willing the grand girls are to experiment and explore and try something new. It is built in. At some point adults become afraid of this exploration. Are they afraid of failure? Are they afraid of the unknown or breaking rules? Joel today told a student who was struggling with the figure to “make an ugly drawing”. She ended up making a great drawing. The drawing was not accurate but it was “art” and captured the model’s pose.

The past week I have had to be creative with cooking because of Baby Nikko’s allergic colitis which means she and her mom can not eat wheat, rice, eggs, nuts, corn, soy, peanuts, beef, chicken and more…

Quinoa, which is not a grain and is high in protein is one of the staples of their diet. Our son had cooked up a lot of quinoa and it needed to be used as they were leaving early today to go spend time with his wife’s family. I decided to experiment. The quinoa would likely go off before my husband and I could eat it all. I was trying to make quinoa patties but I ended up not pan-frying them and instead made these little meatballs that I cooked in the oven. They were delicious. A new invention. An invention that would even be Kosher For Passover for those who follow the rules during that week. Here is the recipe:

1/2 cup cooked Quinoa

1/4 cup of sunflower seed flour

1/4 cup of Flax seed meal

2-3 TBS of potato flour

1 tsp of Baking Powder

Chopped Greens (I used spinach and basil)

Water to make it all hold together. If you added water and it isn’t coming together then add more potato flour.

Salt to taste

Spices (I used the mediterranean Ras-El Hanout from Shuk in Brooklyn) to taste….I just shook the container over the top of the mixture and mixed it in and tasted it )

Smoked Paprika

roll into small balls and place on an oiled tray

Bake at 375 for 30 minutes

One of those creative grands in front of my drawings at the Marblehead Arts Association.

A drawing by Roen: A Bridge, Water and Sand

A messy charcoal kind of day

I used an entire stick of charcoal on this drawing. You can see the beginning and where it went. I am still not sure if it is done but I sprayed it with workable fixative. Plenty of erasing and redrawing and erasing. Now that I look at it I see “eyes”…need to fix that.

I feel like I have been in a battle with this piece of paper for weeks. So to finally feel as though I have landed someplace interesting is exciting. And now I can’t wait to do a second piece. What I really want is to have this piece of paper in combination with a figure and I am thinking of a self portrait with it. I also want to incorporate the dolls. So many ideas. Meanwhile I have to spend today going to FedEx to ship the RA piece to Surrey so my friend can deliver it to the RA.

On a separate note I did not get the Alaska Residency. My husband and I sometimes joke when things do not work out that “it all worked out for the best”. This summer might not be the best year to fly cross-country because an idiotic Florida Federal Judge removed the mask mandate on domestic flights. Having Covid in a remote location would totally suck. Or maybe I don’t want to be so close to Russia right now. Plus our son needs our help as they move into their new house. I should be proud that I was in the final 10 applications for four spots and my application was competitive and up there for consideration by the judges. The person in charge also told me that one of the spots went to a previous applicant.

I am getting better at handling rejection. I am not sure why but I have had a lot of trouble with it in the past. I think one reason I am better with it these days is I have not only gained a confidence in my work, I see my work as being my unique voice and I am motivated to keep creating and creating is what makes me happy regardless of what others think.

Artist Statements

A pet peeve of mine is artist statements. So much importance given to them when one is writing applications for residencies and grants. There is pressure on artists to make their work sound profound and current and trendy and as a result many end up writing a lot of nonsense But is it really necessary with visual work to have these “high minded concepts” or can we just make work that is a response to our world and what we see and allow the viewer the space to come up with their own interpretation and emotions about the work? Some who have read my artist statement on this web page have wondered about it’s origins and so I wanted to explain that it emerged as my personal rebellion to the expected artist statement where the artist claims to be addressing these grand concepts. I wanted to create a statement that really captured what is going through my mind as I create.

On that note the struggle is real. Images of bombed destroyed buildings in Ukraine has me returning to crumbled tangled paper. I have this crumbled sheet of paper that was packing material and I have been struggling to capture it. I have done tight pencil drawings that somehow did not satisfy and fast ink drawings and wet washy watercolors and none of them have quite captured what I want. Today I feel like I finally made progress. The composition is not idea. But I definitely feel like I am on my way toward capturing the crumbled paper.

Shortlisted!!

It’s been a busy art week. I learned I was in the second round of Jurying for an artist residency that is a dream of mine.

And then I learned I was Shortlisted for the Royal Academy’s Summer Exhibition in London. Every year since the RA did online submissions I have submitted work. The first year I was shortlisted and my piece “Midwives and Lady Macbeth”, made it all the way to the end but did not end up being hung. At the time we were making regular summer trips to London to cycle the Prudential Ride London Century and getting our fill of Shakespeare and theater. We went to the RA summer exhibition that summer and it made perfect sense why my piece did not end up on the wall. Walking around the exhibition it was easy to tell what room and wall my piece was going to be on. In terms of color and style it would have fit in perfectly. But I framed the piece with a large 2” matte and the room was hung salon style. My piece and the way it was framed would have broken up the rhythm of the room. Every year since I have submitted work and every year I have been rejected despite submitting work I feel confident about. Every year I tell myself that plenty of famous artists have been rejected by the RA. But it always stings just a tiny bit. Last year I was super frustrated because they asked for pieces that captured this unique moment in history. I felt I had two perfect pieces that captured the moment. The works I submitted addressed the mis-steps we made with covid and the losses that occurred. But I had mis-read the room. People did not want dark pictures that reminded them of the excess deaths and loss. They wanted joyful pieces that captured the feeling of “Hot-Vax” summer 2021 and celebrating things re-opening. I knew this was the case as soon as I saw an instagram post by an artist whose woodblock picture of a happy dog was shortlisted. This year the theme was climate. I submitted one very dark charcoal drawing of a forest made up of scissors and the ground littered with figures and animals and detritus. It’s title is Alignment problem referring to the challenge we are having aligning our actions with solutions that will actually address the climate problem. It was rejected.

The other piece is titled “Tempest”. It is a swirling tornado of my dolls. I created it this past fall after tornados ripped through several midwest communities flattening them. Tempest also contains references to Bernini’s angels as I had drawn the angel with frisket before painting the dolls which is what gives it that snow like effect. I am also excited that our friends we made in London during those cycling ride-london years are going to handle delivering the work for me. One of those friends will be here next week with her ten year old daughter . Her and her brother spent part of their childhood in the US and her brother and his family live in Rhode Island. I am excited to see them as the mom has this amazing wonderful joyful energy. But also she is a lawyer and can help me figure out the stupid VAT form as the RA needs me to get a VAT number by mid May. Last time I totally messed up which ended up with mess of confusion with the HMRC.

Alignment Problem

Tempest